It was a Sunday, when I gave love a chance.
I shared my whole heart. It was another life chapter written. Deep in my heart, I would really like to believe and tell myself that the beginning of the end was on the fourth of February. It was not. The end started in April 2017. It was a slow burn. And burn we did. Pain after pain. Heartaches after heartaches. I remember the last significant word I spoke was "it was good while it lasted." You didn't seem to catch it; I just left it there in the air. Then there were tears, lots of tears, ugly crying, final hugs, and a final kiss. And finally, the last goodbye. What we had was something good. It was easy. It was what other couples aspire to have. Until it no longer was. Until we no longer were. On a Sunday a year and a half later, it ended. A book closed, a new one shall open and shall be written. Thank you for the love, thank you for the experience, and thank you for the lessons. Someday I will look back with a smile on my face and a heart of joy and say, we had something nice. And it was good while it lasted. This too, shall pass. This pain shall heal. These tears shall run dry. I will get up on my feet, back up again. And I will move on. Move forward to a better life ahead.
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Where do I go from here?
I ask myself this a lot lately. Crossroads are supposed to be just that, a road one needs to get or pass through. It should be just a part of the journey. But why does it become the highlight? And why do we, human beings, choose to get stuck here? Why is it so hard for us to choose which road to take? The earth is a scary place. Sometimes we get hurt just by merely occupying a space in this world. Life is hard and there are so many crossroads. But I guess we choose to stay in here to reasses ourselves. To give ourselves time to really feel. To help ourselves. And to heal ourselves. I do not need saving. I could save myself. I do not need pity. Pity is for the weak. I am broken, but I can lick my own wounds. Everyone deserves the time to just be. The time to feel. The time to let life just fuck you over. And finally, the time to stand up and heal. Someday I will probably look back, and tell myself that you did good. You needed that time to feel, that time to wait, and that time to cry. You will get out of it stronger and wiser. Trust me. Oh, and I love you. For now, I am choosing to be here at the crossroads. To feel and lick the wounds I sought for and brought on to myself. I deserve the time. I need this time. How long, I do not know. Someday. One day. I will move forward. But not yet. |
About GAn RN-turned-copy-editor, dreamer and lover of all life, taking on the world, G-style. Archives
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